New Year’s Goals and Resolutions, Anyone?

A look back at 2021

It was a stressful, agonizing year. In March, an ambulance took my mother to the hospital and then later to a rehab facility. Sadly, she could no longer stay in the home she’d been in for seventeen years, so rehab transferred her to a long-term care facility. And we knew it was the final stop.

Life is a vapor. It passes by so quickly. And it was never clearer to me than this year.

From April until September, I traveled to my mother’s condo eight hours away and spent two weeks out of every month going through the accumulations of her lifetime, which included many of my grandmother’s possessions.

My mother’s place was a showcase for Better Homes & Gardens. She loved to decorate, and it showed in every room of her home. With five adult grandchildren and twelve grandchildren, much of what my mother owned, no one wanted. Some things went to Salvation Army, some things will be sold, and some things were pitched. I kept the best of the best.

I sorted through vast amounts of paper, photos, and memorabilia that made me cry and saddened me. At one point, my daughters came for the weekend to help sort through her kitchen and dining room. With two china cabinets, one in the dining room and one in the living room, I could tell my daughters stories of the assorted items in her cupboards.

Memories flooded my soul. What I remember most were the Thanksgiving dinners. It was her holiday to shine and one we all loved. Mom started collecting Franciscan Apple dinnerware almost sixty years ago. Until the manufacturer brought out new pieces back in the late 90s, she owned every piece ever made. The collection is astounding and one I will not part with, even though those fabulous dinners are a thing of the past because family members are scattered all over the east coast. I will take the dining room set because it is something my mother cherished along with those dishes.

She set the table with fine linen, candles, and a centerpiece. She’d set the table the night before and then got up at four or five in the morning to stuff the bird and get everything ready for a meal at two.

We haven’t seen a Thanksgiving like that for twenty years. And it’s OK because I have the memories. What is sad is that my grandchildren will never know the fun times we had around the dinner table playing trivial pursuit or cards. Those days are long gone because electronics and Netflix have taken their place.

There are still many things to do before the home goes on the market in 2022, but I’m on the downside of the hill. Oh, there will be more memories as I transport the many boxes and the dining room to my home, but for now I’m coming to terms with my mother’s passing and that life changes. Sometimes daily.

I never expected that my mother would die this year. I expected she’d live for another five years, but I’m thankful I also made sure everything I planned for her funeral ahead of time. It eased the stress when I got the phone call. There were still things to take care of, but we banded together and got it done.

Examining the past helps us to make way for the future, which leads me to resolutions and goals for the New Year.

Until last year, I set no New Year’s resolutions or goals. It seemed foolish to me. But last year, I decided I needed writing goals. I had made no personal goals, though.

Aside from the many trips I took, what did I accomplish last year?

Amid those terrible times, I wrote three books and took classes including a month-long conference which I never completed because my mother passed away right in the middle of the class in October, and I was trying to finish a Christmas novel I planned to publish on Thanksgiving. That didn’t happen, but I worked long hours to ensure the book came out before Christmas, and it did.

I accomplished one writing goal, and that was to publish four books in 2021. Although one of them was a compilation or boxed set of the first three books in the Women of Worthy series, it still took time and effort to get it published. And I’m taking it as my fourth book. Since I managed  to complete that goal, I’m making the same goal for 2022.

One of my goals for the new year is to complete the October course so I can get started on book six of my series.

My goal was to attend one online writing conference, and I attended one and a half.

So many goals went untouched this year, but I reached those two goals. Considering the year, I’m thankful I achieved them.

My social media goals? Forget it. Those went by the wayside. But that’s OK because some of them grew despite my lack of attention. And that’s a good thing.

This year, I will, however, not only have writing goals which I will monitor throughout the year, but I’ll have personal goals. The usual lose weight is always at the top of the list, along with household goals. I’ve set up a calendar with those goals.

My word for the year is… perseverance. We’ll see how that works out in 2022.

And my prayer for everyone is to have a much better year next year. Have a safe and prosperous New Year!

 

8 Comments

  1. DONNA MITCHELL says:

    I am sorry for your loss. i can relate to part of it. My siblings and I are planning to put my mother in an assisted living facility in the next couple of months. She will go kicking and screaming (not really, but she will feel like it!) because she just wants to live in her own house, alone, which is not possible. Over the past two years we have taken turns staying with her, but as her dementia increases, it is harder to get her to agree with necessary tasks. So many people I know in my age group have a parent in a similar situation, it’s depressing. But the facility we have selected should be good for her, and several family members are in the same city as the facility, with one grandchild’s family within walking distance and willing to visit frequently.

    1. Seralynn Lewis says:

      It is SO difficult to make that decision. Enjoy your time with your mom while you still have her.

      For us, we knew at some point we’d have to make that tough decision. It was made easier for us because she had been in the hospital. She stayed in her home for eight years after major heart surgery. We had a caregiver come in twice a day to make sure she got dressed, took her pills, and ate. It was a lonely existence. In March, we realized she wasn’t getting out of her easy chair to go to bed at night which caused health issues and ultimately made her brain fuzzy. The facility was brand new and the caregivers were wonderful. The doctor at the facility diagnosed her with Dementia and we knew it was a matter of time before she wouldn’t know any of us, but she never lived long enough for us to experience that. It was a blessing for us to not have to endure her not knowing any of us.

      Although my brother lives nearby and visited her weekly, I live out of state. My husband and I were the last relatives to visit her before an outbreak of COVID and no one was allowed in. I’m thankful for that.

  2. E says:

    Loved life is a vapor

    So true

    Best wishes for the new year

    1. Seralynn Lewis says:

      Same to you! May we all have a better 2022!

  3. Judi Ragsdale says:

    I feel your pain as I lost a very sweet man in Sept 2021. His death was expected as he was 89 years young and had struggled with congestive heart failure for years and cancer more recently. I came into his life in 2012. I became his lady friend and later his caregiver.
    I now watch as his children are dealing with sorting through his and their memories while they separate photos and things that are either tossed or given away!
    I commend you for making goals which will help you stay focused.
    Persevering and working towards those goals will be a healthy way you will heal your aches. May I suggest you add patience in your list. Do not be discouraged if you don’t accomplish everything on your goal list. Be patient with yourself as you are human and things will work out in the end.

    1. Seralynn Lewis says:

      How awesome that sweet man had you in his life to share his life with. Not many people get that in the twilight of their years. He was definitely blessed. What I have learned from this year’s experiences was to let go of the things I simply cannot do. And while it hurt to let them go, in the end, I was happier. From my twenties, I’ve always crammed “ten pounds of stuff in a five pound bag” as my brother and husband love to tell me. But I always feel like I accomplish more if my to do list is longer or has more “stuff” on it. Otherwise, I’d blow it off. And if I don’t get it all done, I’ll relish in what I have gotten done. 🙂 Thanks for the comment, Judi.

  4. Debbie Hnat says:

    What a beautiful blog…memories are the best we can have…I miss my childhood days of big family holiday gatherings but life is a road full of twists and turns…

    1. Seralynn Lewis says:

      Memories ARE the best things in life. Remembering my grandparents and parents this Christmas really hit home on how fragile life truly is. And life IS full of twists and turns… if we knew everything that was going to happen, it might overwhelm us. I look back twenty years and wonder how I’d ever gotten through it all… And then twenty years before that? Forget it. We plod along as best we can and pray for strength to see each new day through.

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