Since I’m a contemporary inspirational (Christian) romance author I wanted to research the five stages of dating from a Christian perspective.
Dating is an exciting and significant journey, especially when approached with a Christ-centered mindset. Understanding the five stages of dating can help couples navigate their relationships intentionally and honor God through every step.
The five stages I “googled” did not make sense from a Christian perspective, I finally found ones that made sense.
The first stage of dating begins with attraction. This might be physical, emotional, or spiritual—a spark that piques your curiosity. As Christians, it’s important to evaluate whether this attraction aligns with biblical principles.
1 Samuel 16:7 NKJV tells us, But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
It’s important to look at the person’s heart as God looks at our hearts. Ask yourself these questions: Does this person share my faith and values? Is their character rooted in Christ? Does he or she lovingly interact with their family?
Friendship is the cornerstone of any lasting relationship. During this stage, spend time getting to know each other in group settings or casual conversations. Look for compatibility, shared interests, and most importantly, shared faith. Building trust and respect starts here. It is key. Pray for wisdom as you discern if this relationship should move forward.
Proverbs 27:17 tells us “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of of his friend.”
Ask yourself these questions: Does this person share my interests and goals? Is he or she easy to talk to? Does his or her faith line up with yours?
Once mutual interest and trust are established, couples enter the intentional dating stage. This is where you move from casual interactions to deeper conversations about life goals, values, and your faith journeys. Be open about your intentions—dating with the purpose of glorifying God and potentially moving toward marriage.
Psalm 37:5 tells us “Commit your way to the Lord; trust also in Him and He shall bring it to pass.”
Pray together and ask godly couples from your church community to mentor you.
Couples deepen their connection through shared experiences, vulnerability, and trust. It’s a time to evaluate whether you complement one another’s spiritual, emotional, and relational needs. Discuss topics like finances, family, and ministry goals to ensure alignment.
Amos 3:3 tells “Can two walk together unless they are agreed?”
Be alert if disagreements arise. Handle them with grace and seek discernment and guidance from God. Watch for patterns of unresolved conflict or spiritual misalignment. It’s better to cut the relationship before marriage. Many times, important things are overlooked and that can lead to heartache later on. (Speaking from a voice of experience here.)
Engagement is a joyful and sacred season of preparation. Use this time to deepen your relationship with God and each other. Premarital counseling can provide valuable insights into your strengths and areas to grow as a couple. Stay committed to purity and honor God in your plans.
Psalm 127:1a tells us “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it;”
Plan your wedding, but also prepare for your marriage—a lifelong covenant.
Finally, dating as a Christian is about more than finding “the one.” It’s about honoring God in your relationships and growing closer to Him through the process. At every stage, pray for wisdom, seek godly counsel, and trust God’s perfect timing.
Which stage of dating do you find most challenging? Share your thoughts below—we’d love to hear from you!